To be better than your parents...(a random dialog i made up out of randomness)

boy1: I want to be better than my parents. I'll strive to best

them in the things they do.

boy2: why would you want that?

boy1: because, i want to be the best kind of son they could

possibly have. the perfect son.

boy2: you think competing with them is the way to do it?

boy 1: yes. wouldn't you like it too, if your son, took you

and your wife's greatest skills, assests, abilities, values

and morals, and made it better than what you have? i will be

the best of what my parents are. that way, i will be the

perfection of the things that make them proud to be

themselves. i will be better than them. even though it is

impossible...

boy2: impossible...? why so?

boy1: tell me my friend, how could you ever best the woman,

who carried you in her womb, while loving and caring for

something she has yet to know? how can you top her infinite

patience in putting you to sleep and holding you in her arms,

smiling even though you're really a burden to her normal

living? how can i ever beat the man who's wisdom and love made

you to be? whose undying perseverance to work and provide you

with life and future gave him deep lines across his face, with

much sweat and blood? can you overcome him, who laughs with

you and teaches you life while braving all manner of

unpleasantries in the world of money and vice?

boy2: ...

boy1: the fact that you and i still live speaks of our

parents' greatness. i ask you my friend, can you ever be

better than the very people who made you to be as great as you

are, or will be? i know of no such possibility.

boy2: then why say that you want to be greater than them

though it is but mere folly?

boy1: in trying to be the best of what they are, i would be

the fulfillment of their lives. i want to give them cause for

pride. in trying to best them, i would have at least repaid in

some small manner the great sacrifice that made me. i owe them

as much....

MY BRAIN HAS TURNED TO MUSH

I WAS ONCE A TREEHOUSE
I LIVED IN A CAKE
BUT I NEVER SAW THE WAY
THE ORANGE SLAYED THE RAKE
I WAS ONLY THREE YEARS DEAD
BUT IT TOLD A TALE
AND NOW LISTEN LITTLE CHILD
TO THE SAFETY RAIL

Liham na di dapat mabasa

paano ba ako hihingi ng kapatawaran?
tignan niyo, nagkasala ako, aking mga magulang
binastos ko kayo ng harap-harapan,
ako'y nagkasala lingid sa inyong kaalaman

mahirap nga ang aking ginawa
nagbuhos ako ng aking damdamin
ngunit sa gitna ng tunay ay may kasinungalingan
pinaglaruan ko ang inyong isipan

sa bawat katotohanan na aking sinabi
ito'y panakip butas sa tunay kong nais
pampadali sa kunwaring pagsalaysay
samu't-saring kwento na sa tunay ay taliwas

sa mukha ninyo aking pinalabas
isang napakalaking kasinungalingan
habang tinatakpan ng totoong salita
patawad! patawad! sa aking ginawa!

hindi niyo man namalayan itong pagtaksil
bigat ng loob sa aki'y pumipigil
kagagawan ko rin naman ang dahilan
para ako'y gumawa ng kasinungalingan

anong klaseng anak ba ako para ito'y matiis?
pinapaikot ang isip ng kanyang mga magulang!
sumpain man ako ng Diyos mismo!
mapapatawad niyo ba ako sa aking nagawa?!

hindi ko sinusubukang magtula
ayaw ko lang ng diretsong salita
ito'y simpleng liham sa aking mga magulang
liham na kailan man, di nila masisilayan

Three things that bother me.

1st thing:

The foundation of all relationships is trust. But the thing is, it's really hard to give someone your complete unfaltering trust. what happens when this trust is seemingly broken? it's hard to give back, if i could even consider the thought...it's true that i'm too trusting, but only because i want people to trust me back. i want to show them i'm dependable and worth being with. when you take my trust for granted though....things fall apart.

i don't know if it's all just an honest mistake...an error in communication...but if that were the reason, it would be a very weak reason indeed. all i can say is...i don't think, i can give you guys my trust, the same way i did back then.

when i meet new people, i tend to give them every ounce of my trustworthiness. i guess this time, i might have made a mistake.


2nd thing:

For the past sembreak, i've adopted a new motto. "walang umaga ang aking mga araw". this is solely because paggising ko, hapon na. at kapag sinusubukan kong matulog bago mag 1 am, hindi parin ako makatulog hangga't hindi 3 am...i am now officially insomniac.


3rd thing:

Paano mo kakausapin ang isang taong sinira ang iyong tiwala? Paano mo sasabihin sa kanya na hindi maganda ang kanyang ginagawa at inaasal? Paano mo maipaparating ang iyong nais sa isang taong sarado ang isipan? Anong makabuluhang bagay ang maaari mong sabihin sa taong iyon sa paraang hindi mapangutya? Kakayanin ko bang isantabi ang lumalagablab na damdaming akin ikinukubli habang makikiusap nang mahinahon? Paano ko maitutupad ang aking pangakong tumulong, kung wala na sa akin ang karapatang mangialam?