An interesting survey that tells you what your name means

i got this from anna, i hope she doesn't mind if i borrow it. ><

it's really quite intriguing to find out that most of the things this survey interprets are mostly if not entirely true about me.

You entered: Mikkhail Orogo Guioguio

There are 21 letters in your name.
Those 21 letters total to 122
There are 12 vowels and 9 consonants in your name.

Your number is: 5

The characteristics of #5 are: Expansiveness, visionary, adventure, the constructive use of freedom.

The expression or destiny for #5:
The number 5 Expression endows with the wonderful characteristic of multi-talents and versatility. You can do so many things well. The tone of the number 5 is constructive freedom, and in your drive to attain this freedom, you will likely be the master of adaptability and change. You are good at presenting ideas and knowing how to approach people to get what you want. Naturally, this gives you an edge in any sort of selling game and spells easy success when it comes to working with people in most jobs. Your popularity may lead you toward some form of entertainment or amusement. Whatever you do, you are clever, analytical, and a very quick thinker.

If there is too much of the 5 energy in your makeup, you may express some the negative attitudes of the number. Your restless and impatient attitude may keep you from staying with any project for too long. Sometimes you can be rather erratic and scatter yourself and your energies. You have a hard time keeping regular office hours and maintaining any sort of a routine. You tend to react strongly if you sense that your freedom of speech or action is being impaired or restricted in any way. As clever as you are, you may have a tendency to make the same mistakes over and over again because much of your response is glib reaction rather that thoughtful application. You are in a continuous state of flux brought by constantly changing interests.

Your Soul Urge number is: 1

A Soul Urge number of 1 means:
Your Soul Urge is the number 1. With a Soul Urge number of 1, you want to lead and direct, to work independent of supervision, by yourself or with subordinates. You take pride in your abilities and want to be recognized for them. You may seek opportunities to display your strength and usefulness, wanting to create and originate. In your desire to manage the big picture and the main issues, you may often leave the details to others.

The positive 1 Soul Urge is Ambitious and determined, a leader seeking opportunities. There is a great deal of honesty and loyalty in this character. If you possess positive 1 Soul Urge qualities, you are very attainment oriented and driven to success. You are a loyal friend and strictly fair in your business dealings.

The negative side of the 1 Soul Urge must be avoided. A negative 1 is apt to dominate situations and people; the home, the spouse, the family and the business. Emotions aren't strong in this nature. If you possess an excess of 1 energy, you may, at times, be boastful and egotistic. You must avoid being too critical and impatient of trifles. The great need of the 1 Soul Urge is the development of friendliness, and a sincere interest in people.

Your Inner Dream number is: 4

An Inner Dream number of 4 means:
You dream of being a very solid citizen that people can depend upon. You strive for organization and predictable order. You want to be recognized as a person with a plan and the discipline to make that plan work like clockwork.

kung paano naging Christmas party ang isang party

Noong nakaraang Disyembre 20, naganap sa Seton ang mga tinaguriang Christmas party.
Ngunit hindi ito magiging tunay Christmas party kundi dahil sa inyo, aking mga tunay na kaibigan.

Panahon ng bigayan ang Pasko.
At dahil nandoon kayo sa parting iyon, masasabi kong Christmas Party nga yun...
dahil binigay sa akin ng Panginoon ang kanyang pagmamahal...panno?
sa pamamagitan ng kanyang kabutihan at pagmamahal ay nakasama ko kayo, aking mga kaibigan...

Merry Christmas po sa inyo...=)

Ang mushy ng dating....
kaso pag tunay na may pagmamahal sa mga salitang iyong bibitawan
walang kaso yun...
basta maiparating mo ang iyong tunay na nadarama...=)

The best gift...

My friend, I know you've felt it
I don't need to say it
It doesn't have to be Christmas for me to give it
all this time, I've been giving you the best gift I can give
and I'll keep giving it as long as I live

why?...

Because that's how much I love you.
haha...I ended up saying it after all...

Pasko na sinta ko...

Pasko na sinta ko...
hanap-hanap kita
bakit nagtatampo't
nilisan ako?

Aking kaibigan, limutin na natin ang mga masaklap na kaganapan.
patwarin mo sana ang kung anong mali ang aking nagawa
nais ko lamang na magsama muli tayo bilang tunay na magkaibigan...

kung mawawala ka,
sa piling ko sinta,
paano ang paskong
inulila mo?

Newton's Revised Third Law of eMotion

"for every great happiness, there is an equally great misery."
"for every great love that is felt, there is an equally strong relationship that is hurt"
"for every cherished moment, there is also a moment you wished never happened"
"for every loving embrace, there is an equally cold parting"
therefore in mathematical formula :

∑of [(7X)(9y)(14z)(13a)]∩happiness=∑of [(24x)(14y)(1a)] ∩ sadness

A take on the Makati Rebellion and a subtle take on campus paper cencorship

Too Much, Too Bad

By: Geronimo Martinez

When we want something done, we just think of the immediate results, but almost never of the long term consequences. If you suddenly withdraw your support for the government and staged a rebellion calling for the president’s resignation, you probably didn’t think about the power struggle that would have occurred had you succeeded, and countless other political warfare that would have followed nonetheless.

Acts born of rashness is stupid and or selfish. Even acts that are intentionally good might still be bad if its long-term effects and eventualities are not anticipated. In deciding what to do, we must think thoroughly. Bearing this in mind, wasn’t Trillanes a bit arrogant and selfish to do what he did? We can ask ourselves the same thing.

Some people claim that when we complain, we’re brave and intelligent. Let us keep in mind though that there is a clear difference between intelligence and awareness. Awareness is the simple knowledge that something is wrong and that something needs to be done about it. You don’t actually display intelligence until you have an answer to that problem. Then again, even when we have an answer, if we haven’t thought it out carefully enough, we still can’t say that’s intelligence because we’d probably make the problem worse for everyone. Also, doing something for yourself (like planning your own power-grab) as an answer is just damnably selfish.

On the other hand Sen. Trillanes isn’t the only one at fault. While a curfew was a tolerable precaution due to the Makati Stand Off, it still had an air of exaggeration. Even media men were handcuffed and their footage seized by the police just for being there. They were imprisoned for doing their job: showing people what’s really going on. These kinds of government action have never been done since the martial law.

One can’t help but wonder if the government is hiding something. What if Trillanes was right all along? Though he did a rash action, he might’ve been right about his claims. Nonetheless, it’s becoming slowly but steadily obvious that those in power have ulterior motives. If they really were planning to repeat martial law as some people claim, then Trillanes just gave them more legal justification by proving that security is lax. This prospect withstanding, at least Sen. Trillanes made people more aware of the government’s supposed corruption albeit in an overly scandalous manner.

Often, when we try to speak against something wrong, those to whom it was addressed do everything in their power to prove you wrong, or to make you wrong, almost to the point of overreaction. Even the smallest hint of negative insight against the system is dealt with in the same way.

Undeniably, in one way or another, both parties are at fault. Too much rashness, too much reaction. Too much of anything is bad. Let’s clear out our intentions. Tell the truth, instead of all the ambiguous and ridiculous scandals we keep doing. What is it that we want done and what will we do afterwards?

The Many Symbolisms of Life

I might just be weird. I might just be strange. I might just be overly critical, because I tend to see almost everything that happens in my life as a symbolic foreshadowing of another more important experience. The dark, heavy clouds could make me think that it's a symbolism of failure, as in our presentation for that afternoon would go awry. A simple event such as someone knocking over a glass of juice might symbolize (to me at least) that I might fail an upcoming quiz. Virgil says it's ridiculous...these paranoid sense of giving meaning to meaningless events...but hey...they say God works in mysterious ways...

I once mentioned that I lost my class jersey that had the "Geronimo 69" on its back. I couldn't find it for a good 3 days. I had a feeling who took it. As a matter of fact, I kinda expected him to take it. So no big deal. But all in one day, I finally set things right with him, apologies were made and enmity forgotten. Then he said out of the blue, "I took your jersey. I hid it over the shelves. It was was lying around and looking messy so I got irritated and hid it". "I appreciate you telling me...but then again, I guess I expected you to do it. It was my fault anyway".

That event was very symbolic for me. It served as a very succinct summary of my reawakwning. It was the symbolism of my rebirth.

I lost the jersey, without any care for where I put it. Kinda like how I didn't care what I did to people out of my pride. I lost the jersey, almost like how I lost myself to anger and arrogance. Then after I made up with the one who hid my jersey, I found it again, or rather, he told me where it was. It kinda symbolizes how I found myself again after I learned to let go of my pride, he told me where it was; my friends told me where to find myself...in letting go of who I wasn't. I said to him that I expected him to do it, maybe because I knew that he wouldn't do those things if I hadn't done the things I've done...nearly everything that I endured was in one way or another, caused by myself...

I chose to put what is written on my Jersey because it symbolizes who I am. For me, the jersey symbolized me, and the whole business of it getting lost and being found again was my journey to redemption. My silver candlesticks...only it's made of cotton.

With your words you've set me free from the last vestiges of my forsaken past

and for that, I thank you, with all my heart, truthfully, sincerely and gratefully (redundant much?)...do you know how happy you made me feel? well, i'm really happy. very happy. at last, i can reall say, i'm free of the wretchedness of my past. i'm free from the haunting memories. the veil has been lifted, and now i see how bright the room really is...

i won't hide this from you. i considered our enmity to be the greatest personal struggle in my life. now that we've resolved it, i feel a profound sense of peace within me...thank you. you've given a man the peace of mind that has always eluded him. you've completed my rebirth to a new life.

you're right. i took too long to realize everything...but at least i've changed...and what time remains, i will use to live anew.


Isang liham mula kay Ligaya para kay Mr. Balajadia

------On a totally unrelated note, I would like to address Mr. Balajadia. Julio swore to God and to himself that he'd let go of his hate. Julio bears you no ill will, but he can never forgive you for your grievous crimes. Julio may have changed his ways, but he still has his dignity, and no authority on heaven or earth can ever give you the power to turn that dignity into a doormat. What does Julio want from you? Had he still lived his wretched ways, he would have condemned you to death, but he knows better now. All he asks is that you see reason and stop embarrasing yourself before more harm comes to anyone else. One who has never done anything to you deserves a peacful life, free from your vexation. Bear in mind Mr. Balajadia, that pride is a lethal poison. Julio knows much of that, he's been there. The best thing to do, for everyone's sake, is to let it all go, and live peacefully.

A week long of doing...what?

In terms of an academic week. I was expecting, hoping for more. It's a shame that wasn't the case this year...especially now that it would be our last. It felt more like a week long freetime. The only things I remember worth working for, were the bubble math and sayaw ng lahi...everything else was a blur.

I practically spent the whole week doing only one of three things alternately, playing comp games in the SN office, loitering/roaming around the whole school watching other events that the lower years are doing (with the excuse that I was covering for the school paper), and hanging with my friends, most of the time my newfound first year friends.

I was barely around our classroom. the few times I was there, I helped around with props and lantern making, but other than that, i just took pics of the various sleeping people there.

the whole week I was wearing our section jersey, with my custom made name and number (Geronimo 69). speaking of that jersey, I seem to have misplaced it on the last day of aca week...

yeah i took some pictures...but my camera decided to be gay and stayed broken from the second day onwards...so I borrowed cameras from people, mostly from victor (cuz his cam was leet and coool looking) to take my pictures.

ang bilis matapos...classes ulit...buti nlng sa fri walang pasok...haha....

To live life anew when it's already too late

Finally I am free. Free from hatred, free from anger, free from my past, free from myself. Never shall I forget this date, November 24, '07. That was the Saturday that marked my freedom, and the beggining of my new life. My dearest friends were there with me. We had a toast of coffee to our friendship. It was God's gift to me.

I find myself pondering now. Only after four years have I learned to let go and be free. Four years of my life wasted in bitterness and hate. Four years...and now, everything shall come to a close. I've only learned to truly be alive just now, when everything nears its end. Although, I am grateful for my freedom, I can't help but remember and lament that time wasted. My youth that I've wasted. Is this new life still worth it, now that this life draws to a close? I pray so.

One of my dearest friends told me, "It was better that you set yourself free now, than not at all. You're time to live it is short, so live it now to the fulest. Enjoy it, live it, while you still can. It is the only meaningful thing left of the time that remains...". She's right of course. But I still can't get it out of my head...the time I wasted in despairing...a time when I could've already been free and happy had i learned to let go earlier.

I find myself having close friendships with First Years. It seems that, instead of my classmtes, I've found solace and friendship in their younger brothers and sisters. Does that seem strange? Yes, it is strange to find someone my age hanging around kids as young as them. But it doesn't matter to me. I guess...I found a connection with them in a way I can never find among my peers. My young friends remind me of a childhood i never enjoyed, a life I could have lived, the tantalizing "what could have been" had my life been more happy then. I see in them that long lost possibility. I see in them the childhood friends I never had. And I guess, there was a part of me that never grew up, the child in me that wanted nothing more to be loved and accepted. It found what it was looking for in these friends of mine, and with them, I am happy, I am at rest.

My mother kept telling me that the last 4 years of my life should have been my happiest. I spent all that time being the opposite. But now at least, I have set myself free. there is little time remaining for "the happiest times in my life". Then I shall spend what time I have left living the life I should have lived.

The fuse broke for a reason.

Virgil! You once told me that everything had a pupose, even my descent into inferno. I believe you now. Maybe because, I found the reason why I snapped.

I had too much hatred. I held too deep a grudge. I clung too tightly to bitter memories. I fell back too often on my pride and prejudice. I've let crippled myself by fefusing to let go. I was cursed by my own inability to rise from the trauma.

I thought I've learned by now...but now I see that my pride and anger prevented me from doing that.

i was too stubborn. I didn't let go. i shut myself out. I was too proud. I kept passing the blame. i kept covincing myself that I was the victim. Now I realize that i caused my own suffering.

i was too proud...too stubborn...now as I look back...she may be right...I was just too proud to heed her...

God has delivered me. He made me snap. He made me lose that poison in my blood. that hatred, that grudge, that prejudice, because i couldn't do it on my own...

It's only now, when i've taken off the veil of anger and pride, that i see my own faults. i let my emotions degrade me further. It made me the opposite of what i really am. I became closed-mided, prejudiced and proud. And i've suffered because of that. because of that suffering, i became angrier...i became my own persecutor.....

God saved me...Virgil..., you were right. I see that now...there's no anger and hate covering my eyes now...

can I still right my wrongs? maybe it's too late...my deeds were done. i don't expect to be forgiven...

At least now, i hope, I am free from my self-imposed exile...

Letter to my friend

hello to you my dearest friend
not a day has passed that i haven't thought of you
there is no night when i do not pray for you
oftenest you come to mind when in reverie
in thought i smile because of you
in thought only, for indeed
there is no room for smiles in my place
a luxury of life everyone but I can enjoy
only for me to reach in thoughts and dreams
in my imaginary paradise always you are
in my personal heaven always I am
in my dreams we are
then i am happy
then the morn but brings its taunt
ending my reverie of peace and of you
again starts my unending fire
where they i burn, while i am burnt in return
always it seems, i am scorched
by prejudiced fires and proud torches
in that room full of light and brightness
i bear a dark veil that covers me
a curse to me, forevermore
and so my happiness has fled
my being has but perished
but of what i am true
has always remained with you
i can only see you in my dreams and thoughts
for your world is apart from mine
there you are happy
there it is serene
there it is my paradise
for you are there
where you are, my only joy goes
the ghost of my smile , your shadow
the truth of my being, your warmth
as chained as i am
by prejudice and pride
my heart and mind still fly free
at least, in that dream
where you and I
nothing in between.

my hopes are for you
my dreams and smiles
my prayers and my dreams
i wish you well, and wish you joy
i wish you what i cannot enjoy
wishes are all I can show
distance keeps from you to know
for the life you saved for me
i return but love with words
my friend, it's true, perhaps I die
but with you my life is redeemed
until He permits that we do meet
my friend, hear the words I silently speak

Another set of jokes [Warning: highly suggestive adult humor]

Disclaimer: I did not make these jokes. They are highly suggestive. Try not read these jokes if you are underage. Do not read these jokes if you are someone who considers suggestive content offensive. These jokes are meant to entertain, not to annoy. Enjoy:p

-------A college professor was preparing his students for a big midterm. He said, "I've gone over all of the notes and answered everyone's questions — now for a final word. There will be no excuses accepted for not having the work done. No 'My dog ate it,' no 'I had to work,' no stories about a big party." One wise guy yelled out, "How about sexual exhaustion?" The professor said, "Nope — you'll just have to learn how to write with your other hand!"

---------Three old ladies are sitting in the park on a beautiful spring day feeding the pigeons and the squirrels, when suddenly, a man in a long trench coat jumps in front of them and throws open his coat. He's completely naked under his jacket. The three old ladies haven't seen such a thing in a very long time, and their blood pressure shoots up quickly. The first old lady lets out a gasp and has a stroke. The second old lady sees this and it's too much for her — she gasps and has a stroke, too. The third old lady didn't have a stroke — she was sitting too far away and couldn't reach.

---------This guy goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, you've got to help me! My penis is turning orange!" The doctor says," Well, what do you do for a living?" The man replies, "I'm unemployed. I just sit at home all day eating Cheetos and watching pornos."

---------A pregnant woman walks into a bank one day to withdraw some cash, when the bank is robbed. Bullets fly everywhere, and she herself gets three in the abdomen. She is immediately rushed to hospital with fear that her soon-to-be child is dead. The doctors find out that in fact she is pregnant with triplets, not one of whom is hurt. Yet the doctors cannot find the bullets anywhere. The woman later gives birth to three healthy children — two girls a boy.

Shortly after the triplets turned 12, the first girl comes running up to her mother, saying, "Mommy, mommy, I passed a bullet today in the toilet!" So the mother brings the child up in her lap and proceeds to tell her about the bank robbery 12 years ago. Shortly after that, the other girl comes running up saying "Mommy, mommy, I passed a bullet today!" So again the mother pulls the child up to her lap and tells her of the incident 12 years ago.

Later the boy runs up to his mom and says, "Mommy, mommy, you'll never guessed what happened today!" "Did you pass a bullet as well?" she asks. "No," he answers. "I was masturbating and I shot the dog!"

----------Zack comes home from school one day and is met at the door by his grandmother, who asks what he learned in school today. He replied, "We learned about sex." His grandmother just stands there, almost in shock. Then later that day she tells his mother about their conversation, and the kid's mom says, "Mother, sex IS a regularly studied subject in school these days."

Later that evening, grandmother walks past Zack's room, sees him vigorously masturbating, and says to him, "After you finish your homework, come down for dinner."

----------A kid is masturbating behind his garage. His dad happens to walk nearby and hears him. His dad says, "Stop that, boy! It'll make you go blind!" The boy shouts back, "Dad! I'm over here!"

----------Billy's father had a lot of guns around the house and was always telling Billy things about guns and how to take care of them, etc. Well, one day Billy was in the tub masturbating, and his mother walked in just as he was ejaculating. She stormed out, and Billy chased after her, saying, "I wasn't playing with myself! I was just cleaning it and it went off!"

Ang Diyos ay Hustisya, Musmos ang Kanyang Huwes (God is Justice, a child is His Judge)

Yey! new short story! Enjoy!. I hope it's good. it's a litt entry. All about how a kid views the things adults do, and about jose sidewalk clearing operations of the MMDA.

Ang Diyos ay Hustisya, Musmos ang Kanyang Huwes

Ni: Geronimo Martinez

Masaklap na trabaho ang aking kinabagsakan sa MMDA. Ako’y naging bahagi ng grupong inatasang manggiba ng mga tahanan malapit sa kalsada, para sa pagpapalawak ng daanan. Sisira kami ng buhay ng mga mamayan upang pabutihin ang buhay ng mamayanan. Napakalaking ironiya.

Maaliwalas ang araw. Mainit. Madumi. Maingay. Naghihintay sa amin ang mga tao, wari’y lalaban hanggang kamatayan mabigyan lang ng armas. Tinitigan namin sila, tinitigan din nila kami. Ang iba sa mga kasamahan ko’y kakikitaan ng kaba at paghahanda sa mukha. Kung magkaroon man ng away, hindi ito ang una, at hindi rin ang magiging huli. Magaway man kung magaway, ginagawa lang namin ang aming trabaho, para sa aming sari-sariling mga pamilya. Trabaho para sa trabaho, buhay para sa buhay.

“Nakuha niyo ang aming notice noong lunes pa! Gagawin na namin ang aming trabaho kahit na nandito pa kayo! Tumabi na kayo at walang kailangang madisgrasya!” panawagan ng hepe sa mga taong nagmistulang gumagalaw na barikada.

“Alam niyo ang aming sagot! Buhay namin ito! Wala kayong karapatang manira ng buhay!” sagot naman ng puno ng mga residente. Nakaukit sa kanilang mga mukha ang itsura ng isang hayop na wari’y nasa paanan ng kamatayan. Nakaratay na ngunit tumatahol parin sa huling hininga.

“Alam niyo na ang gagawin niyo. Tara na, sulong!” ani hepe. Lumusong kami. Lumusong sila. Ngumiti ang demonyo.

Maaliwalas ang hapon. Mainit. Maingay. Masakit. Wala nga silang mga baril, ngunit marunong silang manipa, manuntok at manghampas ng kung anu-anong bagay. Sumiklab ang away. Lahat ng mga taong ito’y lumalaban para sa kanilang kabuhayan. Lalaki, Babae, bata, matanda. Lahat sila nilalabanan kaming awtoridad kahit alam nilang maaari silang makulong. Lahat sila balakid sa aking trabaho. Lahat sila’y pinipigilan akong magsikap para sa pamilya.

Nakisuntok din ako, nakihampas at nakitulak. Di nagtagal naging isa-isa ang labanan, isa samin at isa sa kanila. Tumakbo ako palayo at tumungo na sa mga barung-barong. Maninira na ako habang walang nakakakita. Ang iba kong kasamahan ay pumipilas na rin sa grupo at gumagaya sa akin. Natatalo na ang mga tao .

Nagtatangal ako ng yero sa isang silong ng bigla akong nakaramdam ng matinding sakit sa aking likuran. Wari’y nahampas ako ng isang plywood. Hinarap ko ang aking katunggali at sa harap ko’y isang batang lalaki, sampu o dalawampung-taong gulang, ngunit sa mata niya ang lumalagablab na damdamin ng mga mas may edad. Tinangka niyang hampasin ako muli, ngunit nasalo ko ang kahoy, naagaw at hinagis sa malayo. Napadapa ang bata. Tumayo siya at sinubukan akong suntukin, ngunit mas malakas ako. Napahiga siya. Tinitigan ko siya at tinanong, “Bakit ka pa lumalaban totoy? Talo na kayo. Umalis na lang kayo dito. Hindi mo kinabukasan ang kulungan.”

“Ano ang pakialam mo sa aking kinabukasan?! Buhay nga lang namin ngayon sinisira niyo. Kayo’y mga walang puso! Basta manira na lang! walang pakialam kung tao o hindi, bsta bahala na!” sinubukan niya muli akong sapakin, ngunit nasalo ko ang kanyang kamay at hinigpitan ang aking kapit.

“Trabaho lang ito bata. Huwag mo na personalin. Bata ka lang.” banayad ang aking boses. Bata lang naman siya. Di kailangan piliting umintindi, di tulad ng mga mas matanda.

“Paano ko hindi pepersonalin itong ginagawa niyo? Lahat ng mga pinagpaguran ni itay, lahat ng sakripisyo ni inay, wala sa inyo yun, yung mga ginagawa namin para makakain, para tumawa, para mabuhay, wala sa inyo yun! Basta sisirain niyo na lang!” kahit anong hila ng bata ay hindi siya makaalis sa higpit ng aking kamay.

“Bata, trabaho ko lang ito.” Tumataas na rin ang tono ko. “Bakit, sa tingin mo ba wala rin akong pamilya?! Ginagawa ko it para mabuhay rin sila! Ito ay para sa kanilang pagkain, para sa kanilang buhay! At kayo ang pumipigil sa akin para magawa ko iyon!”

Tinitigan ako ng bata. Makikita doon ang hindi pagkaintindi at kalungkutan. “Eh tatay ka rin pala eh, kung ang pamilya mo ang tatanggalan mo ng bahay, anong gagawin mo? Kung ang tatay mo ay sinsaktan, pinahihirapan tapos sisirain pa ng mga pulis ang inyong bahay, ano mararamdaman mo? Wala kaming ginagawa sa inyo! Pero nandito parin kayo, sisirain ang mga bahay at tirahan ng mga taong nananahimik!”

Pumatak ang luha ng bata. Lumuwang ng kaunti ang aking kapit ng aking kamay. Nawala bigla sa isip ko ang trabaho. Naisip ko ang ang aking asawa, sa oras na ito’y naglalaba siya kina Bb. Baltido. Naisip ko ang aking anak, nasa ikatlong baitang ngayon, nasa paaralan siya. Di ko namalayan nakatakas sa aking hawak ang bata at sinigaw sa akin. “Bakit niyo ito ginagawa?! Bakit kayo pumapatay ng mga maybuhay? Hindi tama yan! Kahit anong sabihin mo, hindi parin tama ang manira ng pangarap, ng tahanan at buhay! Tao lang din kami katulad niyo!”. Lantarang umiiyak na ang bata habang nagsasalita, tila lahat ng sama ng loob ay nasa bawat salita, at bawat pait ay nasa luha.

Ano ba ang aking magagawa? Trabaho k oito, kung hindi k oito gawin, magdurusa ang pamilya ko….Lumabo ang aking paningin, siguro’y dahil mamasa-masa na ang aking mga mata, ngunit nakita ko pa rin ang bata, ngayo’y lumapit sakin para ako’y muling suntukin. Di ko na siya pinigilan, di ko na rin masyado maramdaman ang kanyang mga suntok. Di ko namalayan, napaupo ako sa lupa dahil nasuntok niya ako ng malakas sa panga. Mapait ang lasa ng dugo. Masakit marinig ang katotohanan. Walang lohiko o batas ang makapapantay sa payak na tama at mali ng isang bata., at dahil doo’y hinalo na natin ang mali sa tama.

“Hoy bata! Walang kwentang paslit! Ito para sayo!”

Narinig ko ang tunog ng kahoy sa buto. Natapos ang aking pagmumuni-muni. Nakita ko si Marcus, isang kasamahan, na may hawak na piraso ng kahoy na wari’y galing sa isang barung-barung.

“Manuel, ayos ka lang? Anong ginagawa mo diyan, nagpapabugbog sa bata?”

“Bata?” lumingon ako. Sa likod ni Marcus, nakabulagta ang bata. Natuliro ang aking isipan. Hindi ko sinagot si Marcus. Tumayo ako at nakita ang kahihinatnan ng lahat. Nagkalat na ang mga tao. Marami sa kanila’y hinuli at pinosasan na, yung iba dinadala sa mga ambulansyang nagsidatingan. Tinignan ko ulit yung bata. Hindi pa rin nawala ang laban sa kanyang kalahating pikit na mga mata.

“Manuel, ayos ka lang? Huwag mo na pansinin yan, dadalhin na lang iyan sa ambulansya. Halika na.”

Hindi parin ako gumalaw sa aking kinatatayuan. Bigla akong nagkaroon ng damdamin ng pagluksa at pagsisisi. Ayaw ko na ang ganitong buhay. Hindi ako magnanakaw ng buhay.

“Hoy, Manuel! Ssan ka pupunta?” tanong ni Marcus. Sinundan niya ang aking paglalakad.

Tinitigan ko siya.. “Uuwi na ako.”.

A little ice breaker, how about a joke eh?

isang gabi, mayroong bata na nagdasal kay God. sabi ng bata,
"God, pwede po ba kayong matanong?"
"sige ba anak ko" ang sabi ni God.
"magkano po ang ang isang milyong piso sa inyo?" ang tanong ng bata.
sagot ni God, " ah, parang isang piso lang iyan sa akin"
"Eh, gaano katagal po sa inyo ang isang milyong taon?" muling tanong ng bata.
"parang isang minuto lang iyan sa akin" ang tugon ni God.
ang batang iyon ay may pagka bibbo, kaya naging ganito ang kanyang sumunod na tanong:
"Eh, God, pwede ba pong humingi ng sang piso mo?"
ganito naman ang sagot ni God: "sige ba, pero maghintay ka ng isang minuto..."

I just don't understand...could I be doing the wrong thing?

Numero de Papeles

Tunay na nakapagtataka tuwing umalingasaw sa paligid ang init ng lumalagablab na damdamin.

Diyos ko po! Ako’y nililigiran ng mga patay. Kamatayan sa buong kalupaan! Ngunit nakaratag pa sa lupa, hinihintay pa ang hukay, mayroon kaagad sa tabi nilang nagsisisayaw, pinagdiriwang ang buhay, paminsang natatapakan ang mga bangkay.

Marumi ang sahig. Mabigat ang hangin. Nagkalat ang papel. Ang buhay nga ba’y isang sinulid na gawa sa numero? Pitong nakamamatay, Siyam ng pagkabuhay. Bilang kaagad ang buhay, o di kaya’y sila lang ang nagbibilang ng kanilang buhay.

Siguro sila lang, hindi ko na maintindihan. Dahil siguro taga-ibang planeta ako. Aking sariling mundo, kung lusubin ng bagyo, nakakalbo ang puno, ngunit patay siya ay hindi, dahil sa tubig-ulan siya’y lalago muli.

Bakit sila’y naguumapaw sa tuwa o di kaya’y nalanta, samantalang ako’y natirang nagmumuni-muni? Sino ba ang tama, sino ang mali? Baka ako yung nagkamali, hindi ko alam, taga- ibang planeta kasi ako… hindi nabuo ang aking planeta sa pagbibilang ng kung anu-ano, ang aking planeta’y hindi magugunaw, dahil hindi ko ito binibilangan.

Hindi dikta ng numero ang aking buhay.

I just felt like posting this...it's a short story I made :) can you find the symbolisms?

p.s. Gino, if you read this, note that the names were borrowed from the people you know, but they aren't really the ones in the story...not unless you want to imagine 'ol Aaron snogging Benjomin...hehe

Tinamaan Ako ng Shuttle Cock sa Mata

Ni: Geronimo Martinez

Sa murang edad nahilig na ako sa badminton. Dahil dito’y sumali ako sa isang badminton training camp na gaganapin sa Las Pinas Badminton Centre o LPBC kung tawagin. Hindi naman ito problema sa aking mga magulang dahil ang alam nilang rason kung bakit ko gusto mag-ensayo ay sa nais kong gumaling sa naturang isport at para lumakas ang aking katawan. Ang hindi nila alam ay may mas makasarili akong dahilan. Sa paaralan kasi namin, kung magaling ka sa isports, may karapatan kang magyabang. Walang sinumang maaaring gumalaw sa iyo. Ang mga magagaling sa isports samin ay hinahangaan. Kung magaling rin ako, baka pwede ko sila maging barkada at hahangaan din ako ng mga tao.... Iyan ang nais ko noon.

Diyan sa may BF matatagpuan ang LPBC. Dito ko nakilala sina Benjomin at Aaron. Sila, kasama pa ng mga batang samu’t-sari ang edad at kagalingan ang sumali sa pag-eensayo na pinamumunuan ni Coach Tums Gabuelo.

Umaaligid ang pagiging tensionado sa hangin nang unang araw namin sa court. Ano nga ba ang iyong madadatnan kung pinagsama ang mga batang hindi magkakilala? Nahihiya pa ang iba sa amin, samantalang ang ibang magkaibigan na’y nagsisikwentuhan, hindi nagbibigay pansin sa mga di pamilyar na mukha. Natatangi dito ang dalawang lalaking nalaman kong nagngangalang Aaron at Benjomin. Lantad na matalik silang magkaibigan, sa kilos pa lang nila at pananalita. Kahit mayroon din naman doong mga magkakaibigan na sumali, nakakaagaw-pansin talaga ang magkaibigang Aaron at Benjomin. Alam ko sa kaloob-looban ko, mayroon sa kanila ang hindi mo mahahalaw sa mga iba pang magkakaibigan doon. Hindi ko alam kung bakit, ngunit saisip ko, kahit sino naman ay mahahalata na malapit ang puso nila sa isa’t isa. Kulang nalang ang tawagin ko silang magkapatid. O di kaya’y nababakla na sila sa isa’t isa. Hindi ko itatanggi na may itsura si Benjomin at guwapo si Aaron, pero pareho silang lalaki! Bakit ba ako nag-iisip ng ganito sa kanila? Buti na lang wala ditong marunong bumasa ng isip.

Oras na para magsimula. Kaming lahat ay bumuo ng dalawang pila, para magawa ng maayos ang warm-up. Nakitabi nalang ako sa kung sino. Wala pa naman akong kakilala sa grupo, pero nais ko sana tumabi malapit kina Aaron dahil gusto ko silang pagmasdan. Di ko alam kung bakit, siguro’y nagtataka lang talaga ako sa kanilang pagsasama.

Sinusundan namin ang galaw ng katawan ng aming pinuno sa warm-up. Bagamat dumadanak na ang pawis sa aking pilik mata, nasulyapan ko parin si Benjomin, nakamasid kay Aaron, na nakangiti parang batang anghel sa kanyang kaibigan.

Binigyan kami ng ilang minutong pahinga pagkatapos ng ehersisyo. Sa aking pagmamasid, nabuo ang pananaw ko na maaari kong pakisamahan sina Aaron, dahil mukhang mabait naman sila at wari’y madaling pakisamahan. Ngunit napasyahan ko lamang ito dahil wala na akong ibang malapitan, kahit sa isip ko’y hindi ganoong kagaling at tanyag ang dalawang lalaki.

Bakit nga ba walang walang masyadong pumapansin sa kanila? Kundi man sila mapansin dahil sa pagkaguwapo, siguro nama’y mapapansin sila sa kanilang pagkilos na parang bading. Ako lang ba ang nakakakita? Lumingon-lingun ako. Sa di kalayuan, may tatlong lalaking kasama namin sa training ang tumatawa habang nakatingin kina Benjomin. Sila yung mga mayabang at maangas sa grupo. Kung napapansin nila sina Benjomin, ibig bang sabihin na katulad ako nila? Hindi...hindi...alam kong hindi ako ganyan, hindi ako kauri nila, mas mataas naman ako sa lebel nila...

Nagsimula muli ang training. Napuno ako ng pawis, bawat yapak, bawat kumpas at hataw, nakakapagod. Ang hirap. Maykakayahan na ako sa badminton bago ako sumali sa ensayong ito, ngunit mas mahirap dito. Pero kailangang mag pursige ako, para gumaling, para makilala ako ng mg tao, para maging katulad ako ng mga personalidad sa amin, tanyag, sikat, nirerespeto- “AAH, SH...” aray ko...ang sakit pala tamaan ng sariling raketa sa ulo...

Sumipol ulit si coach Tums. Break ulit namin. Malapit sa akin sina Aaron at dahil ayaw kong maiwang walang kausap, ako na ang unang nagpakilala sa kanila.

“Kamusta Tophy? Ako si Aaron, at ito naman si Benjomin ang aking matalik na kaibigan.” pakilala ni Aaron.

“Uh, bakit tinawag mo akong Tophy?” sambit ko. Hindi ko alam kung ako’y maiinsulto o hindi sa kanyang pag-iba sa pangalan kong Christopher.

“Mas cute kasi pakinggan eh, kasing cute mo, hehe” ang balik ni Aaron. Sinisigaw ng isip ko na “napakabakla naman ng taong ito!”, ngunit sa akin na lamang iyon.

Nakita siguro ni Aaron ang bahagyang pamumula ng aking pisngi, pagkunat ng aking noo’t pagtaas ng kilay, dahil napatigil siya sa pagsasalita.

“Haha, tara Tophy, maglaro muna tayo.” imbita ni Benjomin. Sa pagkakataong ito iniimbita na pala nila ako maging kaibigan.

“Sige, palo muna tayo”, aking tugon, at iyon na rin siguro ang nagsilbing pagtanggap ko ng kanilang imbitasyon.

Pumunta si Aaron sa kabilang panig ng court at nanatili si Benjomin sa aking tabi; marahil ito’y pagpapakita ng magandang loob, pero sigaw ng isip ko’y inaakala nila akong mahina. Sa aming balikan ng tira, batid na sa akin na magaling pala silang dalawa. Siguro’y nabahala ako sa kanilang galing, dahil pumalya ang tira ko at naiwang bukas ang aking mukha sa atake.

“AARGH!”.

“ Tophy?! Ayos ka lang?” si Benjomin siguro yun, di ko alam; nakapikit kasi ang aking mga mata.

“Sori Tophi! Sori talaga!” pagmamakaawa ng boses ni Aaron.

“Ayos lang...okey lang ako.”, aking tugon habang tinatakpan ko ang aking mata, at bumangon ako muli. Tinawag na kami ni coach Tums; training na ulit. Siguro kasalanan ko na rin kung bakit ako tinamaan, minaliit ko kasi sila. Hindi naman ako nagalit sa kanila. Sa halip, doon nabuo ang aming pagkakaibigan; pinakita nila sa akin na may pagmamalasakit sila, at dahil doo’y nakuha nila ang aking tiwala.

Sa mga sumunod na training, kaming tatlo na ang laging magkasama. Nang tumagal, nasanay na ako sa aking bagong katawagan bilang “Tophy” at tinuring ko na silang tunay na kaibigan. Hindi kumpleto ang bawat training kung hindi ko sila makakasama, kaming tatlo na ang magkakatabi parati, magkapartner, at sa lahat ng gawain ay nagtutulungan. Minsan nga’y mas nasasabik akong makasama muli sina Benjomin at Aaron kaysa magtraining kapag na sa court na ako, ngunit tinatago ko na lang ito sa aking isipan tuwing iyon ang aking nararamdaman. Totoo, hindi sila ang karaniwang tipo ng kaibigan na meron ako, dahil madalas silang isip-bata at wirdo. Pero nang nakilala ko na sila, nalaman ko na ayos lang pala itong dalawang ito.

Isang araw maaga akong dumating sa court. Akala ko wala pa noong tao. Kinailangan ko noong gumamit ng CR. Paglapit ko sa pinto, may narinig akong mga boses.

“..Benjomin...” boses ni Aaron iyon, ngunit tila malumanay at malambot. Bakit kaya siya nagsasalita ng ganito?

“Masaya ako’t kaibigan na rin natin si Tophy” si Benjomin naman iyon. “Oo nga, mabait siya, cute pa haha, dumating na kaya siya? Gusto kong maglaro na tayong tatlo...”.

Sa pagkarinig ko ng aking pangalan pinasok ko ang CR. Doon nakita kong magkayakap sina Benjomin at Aaron, magdidikit na sana ang ulo nang biglang tinignan ako ng may takot sa mukha. Tinitigan ko rin sila, at nagmamadaling lumabas sa pintuan. Lumayo ako doon, at napaupo nalang sa isang bangko, haban tuliro parin ang aking isip. Paano ko kaya nagawang kaibiganin ang dalawang baklang iyon? Dati ko na silang hinalaan pero nagtiwala parin ako sa kanila. Ano kaya ang sasabihin ng mga tao kapag nalaman nilang kaibigan ako ng dalawang bakla?

Ilang minuto’y nahanap rin ako ni Aaron at umupo sa aking tabi. Siya ang unang nagsalita. “Tophy, huwag sana mag-iba ang pagtingin mo samin. Mahal lang talaga namin ang isa’t isa.”

“Bakla kayo...mga bading...tapos kinaibigan ko kayo. Napaka bobo ko naman para lumapit sa inyo...” aking tugon.

“Kung bakla kami ibig ba sabihin na hindi kami tao? Nagsasalita ka na parang hindi karapat dapat tawaging tao ang mga bakla. Tsaka, hindi ko naman kailangan maging bakla upang mahalin ang aking kaibigan. Ganoon lang talaga kami magpakita ng pagmamahal.”

Wala akong nasabi doon, at nanahimik nalang, kahit alam ko, sa kaloob-looban ko, may bahaging sumasangayon.

Nagpatuloy si Aaron, “Napagaya ka na siguro sa iniisip ng nakararami. Kung iba ka sa kanila, maiiwan ka, magiging walang kwenta. Hindi mo naman kailangang maniwala katulad nila para magkaroon ng kwenta.... Hindi naman masama ipakita kung paano ka magmahal, pagmamahal na rin naman ang binibigay mo sa kaibigan diba? Kaya mo nga siya kasama, kausap at kalaro...dahil mahal mo siya. Mas lantad lang siguro sa amin ni Benjomin dahil pinagtibay na ng panahon. Hindi naman namin ikaw pipilitin makisama sa amin ng ganoon Tophy. Kaibigan ka pa rin namin at mahal ka rin namin, pero rerespetuhin namin kung paano ang gusto mong pakikitungo sa amin. Hindi kami bakla dahil nagyakap kami, hindi ka magiging bakla dahil kaibigan mo kami.”

Dumating na rin sa aking tabi si Benjomin. Nagpalitan sila ng tingin ni Aaron at saka ipinagpatuloy ang usapan. “Tophy, walang kailangan magbago...magkaibigan parin tayo, mahal ka pa rin namin. Sana ganoon din ang saloobin mo.” aniya.

Tahimik parin ako pero sinabi na ng namamasa kong mata ang aking tugon. Tumayo ako, at sa pagkakataong ito, si Aaron naman ang nagulat, dahil ako na ang nakayakap sa kanya. “Oo tama kayo, walang kailangang baguhin.” Sabi ng aking namimiyok na boses. Niyakap ko rin si Benjomin “pinamukha niyo sakin, na mahal niyo ako, at ngayon ko lamang natanggap na mahal ko na rin pala kayo. Patawad, sa inyong dalawa. Kaibigan?” “Kaibigan” tugon nila at naramdaman ko ulit ang init ng kanilang mga katawan. Ang init ng pagmamahal.

Aliens aren't always from outer space

Where are you friend?

Such a sad thing it is, to see two friends who pass by each other without sparing a glance. Friends are supposed to be the closest thing to family. Even Jesus, in His Almighty Glory, was quoted saying that "Ang kaibigan, nag-aalay ng sarili niyang buhay. Walang hihigit sa gayong pag-aalay". So you ask yourself, what then to those friends who fell victim to the severing sickle of time? Will you blame yourself for wasting your time with them? No. Well, no to most of them at least. Even after a falling-out has happened between you and a friend, the fact remains that they were once your friends, and therefore you once loved them. You just don't forget people you love. But is such love foolish, even impractical, when those to whom it was intended desire none of it? What if the fomer friend wants nothing to do with you, who would even praise God if He, in His infinite wisdom took you into His paradise too soon? Yes it hurts. If the bond that two friends share is considered great, then severing that bond is equally great. Terrible, yes, but great. A great sadness fills you more than anger or pain. 'Tis truly sad to see that that friend now despises you, and rejects any attempt you make to patch things up. Yes it is sad, you cannot change your friend, though you try to change for him. It is sad because, however right or wrong either of you are, there's nothing you can do to get that friend back. So now you sit on the edge of your bed, with naught but a sigh breaking the empty silence, with that sigh you have prayed your sadness to the Lord, that He let your life go according to His good and holy will, all the while cherishing deep in your heart a dying hope clinging to fading memories.

Starter

Do you believe that the hardest thing in doing any endeavor is starting? Well it is. Starting always seems like a daunting task...then that feeling of trepidation becomes procrastination...then nothing is done altogether. Such a waste of time. On the other hand, once we do get started, anything we do becomes easier. Now if we can just put aside that apprehension in starting things....