What’s up eh? Does it seem strange to you that I used that name? I still remember back then when we made “Geronimo Martinez” out of your name…you remember that I used it as my pseudonym ever since right? Maybe I haven’t told you that every time I use it, I always remember the times we were together. But then, that goes without saying I guess…hehe…
How long has it been? Three months, since we last saw each other? There wasn’t even school yet when you left. I didn’t even get to say goodbye. That doesn’t matter though. I know that you felt it at least, my tidings of good luck...goodbyes are painful anyway, so it was best we didn’t. You know I’ve always told you I’m with you right? Even when we’re miles apart, I want you to feel I’m there for you. If my dozens of unanswered texts weren’t enough to show you that, at least know that you’re always in my prayers =).
So…how’s life been with you huh? It’s been a long time since I heard from you. Tell some stories sometime alright? Well, I can tell you this: my first forays into college life were pretty unexpected!
It’s amazing, really. I thought college would be a pain in the ass. A headache too, since they say UP is a mental boot camp, and you know how I hated CAT military training in high school….but as it turns out, it’s really fun. College was the most liberating thing that happened to my life. I can wear what I want now (It’s shorts everyday for me! You know how I hate pants, especially the uniform back in high school…)! I also commute to school everyday on a bus. What’s more, we eat almost everyday at the nearby Robinson’s mall (we fondly call it UP Annex because UP-M students frequent it as much as their classrooms, hehe)! That’s why everyday I go to school, I feel like I’m in one of our gimmicks (as with our gimmicks, I also tend to overspend at lunch…^_^’).
You know with gimmicks, you always gotta be with friends right? Well, I was really amazed at how fast I made friends here. Even from the first week, we already have our own “barkada” in the block. We’re always together, at lunch, at school, and always willing to lend each other a hand. I guess that’s one common thing we share: we’re all willing to help each other. Maybe that’s why we get along so well. Diversity of culture is irrelevant when you have the same values it seems…
Academics here are still in a level I can cope with. Nothing particularly hard yet. The teachers are just great. Though I can complain about some, I’d rather think about the good teachers we have. Because of them, I’m loving Comm I and surprisingly, Math. Math was never my thing. But if it were you, well, you were always good in math, you complement my skills after all (wow, I just used a math term, hehe). Philo is just a fancy term of complicating your life it seems, and Spanish is colonizing my sanity…
Suffice to say, I’m enjoying my college life at the moment. I’d love to from you too. Maybe you can also write a letter? Hehe.
There’s something I wanna say that can only be said in this letter though….As much as I like college, there will always be something missing. There will always be that special place in me that’s left empty. It’s got your name in it.
I hope you’ve taken your time in reading this letter through,it took me a while to write this much with so much of what I want to say left unsaid. I’ll look forwatd to the day we meet again, or at least, the day when you read this. I wish you well in your studies my friend…take care always =)
-Mikko
p.s. It goes without being said that “good luck” implies “I love you” don’t you think? hehe
In case this doesn't meet the deadline for publishing, I'll just post it here. It's very long, since I slept at 4:30 am for this and stuff....hehe...only read it if you're bored, cuz, it's really long...2000+ words O_o
(there's accompanying music... XD)
Who’s prepared to change?
By: Haring Agosto
and Geronimo Martinez
We thought it was just another ordinary year. We thought it was so, even when he came as the newest addition to our class that year. As is on every first day, hardly anyone talked to anyone. We were shuffled into different sections every year. Though we would meet new people, there was always that something that stayed the same. I couldn’t really say what it was back then. Like an unwritten rule; it’s the way how we act. But then, like I said, this new kid comes. Right there and then I’m sure all of us felt it. We felt his difference.
He sat quiet like on a desk as all of us did, except, he had this thing in his eyes, a sort of enthusiasm. Well, we can’t blame him, he’s a new guy. He’ll be under our routine soon enough. He was just as tall as any of our boys, and a body I bet was okay with PE. He had glasses, but like I said, he wasn’t the nerd type who’d skip a run on the field. I guess he was normal, but so much unlike any of us; he had the look of excitement, as if he was waiting for something grand to happen. There’s nothing to marvel at here, ‘cept maybe the canteen price to oil price ratio…but we were used to that.
“Since, we’re all new here, why don’t we introduce ourselves?” says the new teacher. This is such a useless thing to do. No one would remember what your name was in just one sitting anyway, especially when you say it like we did, introducing our unremarkable names in a deadpan tone.
“I’m Lawrence, but you can call me Renzy” I said as if anyone would listen. Nobody was, actually; they were all doing their own thing. Then it was new kid’s turn. When he spoke up, everybody turned to look. See, there was really something different ‘bout him…
“Hi everyone! I’m Michael Collins, from Britain! You can call me Michael if you like.” I guess the new kid—or Michael I should say, had a bit too much cheerio for my liking. I was irritated at any rate. I don’t really get why though.
Introductions and boring talk aside, we were finally let alone for lunch. As my luck would have it, Michael approached me just as I was leaving to go with my friends from the other sections.
“Hey, Renzy was it?”
“You actually remembered my name…”
“Yeah sure, your nickname’s special sounding…” and he finishes with a smile.
“Nothing’s special with my name kid—“
“—Michael”
“Right, Micky, look, nice meeting you but I have to go”
“Wait, I was wondering if you could show me around and stuff? I don’t know anyone here and what not…”
“Uhm, hi to you too. You’re too friendly you know? And quit smiling all the time. It’s unnatural”
“I don’t think it’s unnatural to let a person see that you trust them” I can’t believe this new kid is actually telling me off.
“Mighty big words there mate. We just don’t do that here. If you wanna live, do as everyone does.”
“Well, sometimes, you have to change things to make it better.”
“…” he had a point I couldn’t understand. What’s what though, was that Michael here had gotten my interest. Something in what he said made me want to hear more. An apologetic wave to my friends later, and I found myself looking at Michael again as though he were foreign. He was, actually.
“So, Micky, you coming or what? We only have an hour to eat you know, and around here we’re not so good at making proper lines at the canteen. “
I swear, it really wasn’t me, the things I was doing. After only a few minutes of meeting Michael, I’m right here lunching with him, a pleasure I’d usually have with my closed group of friends. Yet, here was a complete stranger in front of me, talking with me like we were long-time buddies.
“You know, this is just weird.” I thought out loud
“What is? That we’re here talking a lot even if we’ve just met?”
“Exactly. You know, this isn’t really the thing here. You don’t strike friendships here, you make them, and it takes a while. What’s more, usually, nice and friendly people like you end up being the slave to someone else’s home work, or project…”
“The things you’ve told me…like I said before, maybe we should do something about them? I mean, if we know that something we do is wrong, we ought to change it right? We could do something better then, like, if we just try and talk to everyone instead of keeping mum about ourselves, we’d all get to know each other and be friends much sooner.”
“Look Michael, you can’t just change, what we do…it’s, it’s….what we do! Even though sometimes, it doesn’t seem that nice to follow, I mean, it’s still like a rule. You just follow. You can’t just come and change everything. People won’t like it.”
“Maybe it’s time to change the way we do things. Maybe ‘cuz it’s better if we did. Nothing will happen to us if we don’t accept change you know. We shouldn’t get stuck in just one place, we need to go forward. That’s what school is for isn’t it? Teaching us things to help us go forward.”
“You sound like you belong in a rally. Fighting for something that will never come… Look mate, maybe you’re right, but people don’t care. We’ve gotten used to being the same, and we don’t care to change.”
“You say you don’t care, and yet you’re here eating with me, talking about changing things.” Again with that smile.
“well, I…” what could I have said? I was lost for words. I settled for punching his arm for being all wise on me.
Michael had his charms. For some reason, we became sort of like friends after that. I knew he had a point in his words, and I knew a part of me wanted to listen. But then again, impossibility dawned on me. A one man crusade would be a one man burial. That is what I believed would happen to him. I just hang around him to keep him from trouble.
As the school year ploughed on, Michael was still trying to be the harbinger of change to what he believed was a social structure that needed to go. Some of us in our class pitied him, and those became his sort of friends as well. Others humored him while others barely tolerated him. He had friends-ish and enemies in our class. But through all that he never lost that kind demeanor and that bright, albeit occasionally annoying streak of enthusiasm.
Unfortunately, what I feared would happen to him, eventually did. As time went by, his kindness and difference opened him to abuse. It was inevitable I guess…
“Micky, I’m telling you. Just say no for once and let other people do their things in the project. You can’t and you shouldn’t do everything.”
“I don’t wanna feel useless Renzy. I wanna help. When I let group mates decide and work, I always get left out for some reason. I wanna do more; I wanna contribute what I can.”
“But look what’s happening Micky. Some of our classmates are getting pissed, and some of them are just playing with you, while some are just using your eagerness to make you do their jobs. I think even you’d know that that’s wrong. Doing nothing is better than being treated like a dog”
“Don’t worry Renzy, I can do this, you’ll see. I can make them change.”
“You’re just being stubborn now. Fine, I’ve already offered you my help. Do what you want.”
“Renzy…”
Yeah I was pissed. He was being stubborn and arrogant. He wouldn’t see reason anymore. I stopped talking to him. He tried to talk to me several times, but I kept telling him off. I guess, what I really wanted to tell him, was that, you can’t change anything alone. But I never told him that.
It was sudden actually, when the final blow happened. It was around the last months of school. We had a school project where we had to do a film on a novel. I was in a different group, so I didn’t exactly know. From what I heard, Michael had a scuffle with their director, saying he had some ideas on how to make the script better. After they finished filming, the group was pretty much miffed at Michael to some point. Someone else in the group was supposed to do post-production. But they all pressured Michael to do it, since, they said, he was eager to change some things in it.
That decision was made only a day before the thing was to be submitted. Try as he did, Michael couldn’t excel while rushing. He stayed up till morning to barely finish it. So he had the CD brought here by a friend while he stayed home since he wasn’t in a right state. Their project wasn’t as good as their group had planned, and the next day, when Michael goes back to school, his whole group greets his face with very unlikable terms and various expressions of extreme irritation.
Two things changed after that. First, and more surprisingly, the change came from the class, and there wasn’t a more unsightly change to be seen. At the time Michael’s group disowned him, everyone else who was ever pissed with Michael started dissing him and treating him like crap. My classmates weren’t like this before.
There were those who pitied him. They were the ones who kept away. I was one of them. I just stood by and watched how his change came about.
That one other thing that changed was Micky. He was never himself after that. He wasn’t cheery anymore; he hardly recited nor spoke anymore. Group works to him were torture, since most of his group mates would just disregard him and ignore him.
I didn’t talk to Micky either, this time though, out of guilt and shame. From what I heard, he was just waiting for the school year to end, so that he wouldn’t get hurt anymore.
A few days before class ended, I got the courage to talk to him.
“Hey, school’s out in a few days huh? Can’t believe it’s summer already….”
“I guess…I remember the first time we met…” he gave me a sad smile.
“Hey, listen..I…”
“It’s okay. I know what you were gonna say. I don’t blame you.”
“Michael, what happened back then…”
“It’s done. We don’t need to talk about it…I’ll tell you this though. We all need to change some time…we can’t stop it, and we can’t just be the same. But then there’s a good side and bad side to it. It all depends on how you want to change. You have to decide, but never stay in the middle. You’ll be nothing then.”
“I can’t believe you’re still being a philosopher on me.” I was getting pretty awkward as I didn’t miss that hint of accusation.
“I just wanna say, thanks, for being the only real friend I had…’
It hurt a lot when I heard him say that. It was sincere, and yet an accusation at the same time. A few days later, summer came. Our class lost contact with each other after that, only meeting again next year in different sections. Micky transferred schools, and we never heard of him again. Rumors spread though that he never did well in any of the schools he transferred to after that, and that he became an arrogant jerk over time. My classmates over the years also changed drastically, in ways I’d rather not mention.
It was only then that I realized what Mick said about change, and about its outcome depending on how you accept it. I only realized after I saw how everyone else changed in ways I never, and would rather have not imagined.
Just when I was saying i liked spanish....I got an HSB quiz in it....so our teacher gave us an "el examen" just because she didn't have a damn "la cilia"....i bet she was just in a pissed of mood and decided to take it out on us poor "estudiantes"...and that effin quiz was effin hard, maybe cuz i didn't know i had to memorize that many spanish pronouns in that short time...i didn't know we were gonna be quizzed anyway..."madre de dios!" well sure enough i had a lame ass score...if it could even be called a score.... i'd rather not have a chair so that our teacher would have one, than have a chair and fail her "examen" ....lame....I wonder when i can swear in spanish....so i wouldn't be told off if i said "sh*t" in class...
Just when I was saying i liked spanish....I got an HSB quiz in it....so our teacher gave us an "el examen" just because she didn't have a damn "la cilia"....i bet she was just in a pissed of mood and decided to take it out on us poor "estudiantes"...and that effin quiz was effin hard, maybe cuz i didn't know i had to memorize that many spanish pronouns in that short time...i didn't know we were gonna be quizzed anyway..."madre de dios!" well sure enough i had a lame ass score...if it could even be called a score.... i'd rather not have a chair so that our teacher would have one, than have a chair and fail her "examen" ....lame....I wonder when i can swear in spanish....so i wouldn't be told off if i said "sh*t" in class...
Why the spanish you ask? well that's because we have spanish class, and i'm very fond of it! the title means "my college life". I learned another phrase in spanish, and it's my first ever self translated phrase! it's "mi muy grande pene". I'll leave you the task of finding out what it means...>:) =))
i guess for now, college is proving itself fun. very fun because of the freedom in clothing (i finally get to wear shorts everyday!!!) and because of my super friendly blockmates. it's amazing how we get along actually, we could virtually talk to anyone and be friends with everyone in our block in just a matter of days...parang ang dali makisama sa kanila, and i'm thankful things turned out this way...
as far as subjects go, things are still going smoothly, thank goodness. even math is merciful, though it's getting to the point where i sweat =)). Comm (or english) is my fave subject, cuz we always have fun there, and our teacher is really funny. even if she's already old, she knows how to make us laugh =) i have yet to prove myself in any skill related aspect, but i hope i could have that golden oppurtunity soon...i'm also thinking about joining the debate org and the UP choir, though i have no idea how o do so in the latter...
overall, life is still good to me, as the 2nd week of real college life passes. i also love my sched, though it prevents me from going back to seton cuz it's late afternoon...
yeah that's one sad thing...i miss seton a lot...that's the only downside to being college...leaving your second home....(seton) and your second family (friends and teachers) behind...
one other thing...maybe it's just my sched...but these days, time seems to go faster than usual...i mean, days go in and go out faster than i can say...uhm...something long...you get the idea...
and why am i writing like some word challenged little boy? cuz it's frikin 12:30 am...and i'm sleepy....and the main reason i made this blog is to put up the music it goes with...i might draw for it..but later...=)
So, gagawa daw tayo ng block T-shirt at pipili ng block color/s. si nicole a gagawa logo. So post kayo d2 ng reactions and suggestions. oo nga pala, may 2 essays tayo sa monday, yung math at history, tpos yung index card sa math, yung pinapabasang essays sa phil kasama ang sophies world at....uhm....yun lng ata...=D
A day separates me from my happy carefreedomness and the looming uncertainty which is college. Am I prepared for it? Can I take it? No, and probably no. Even then, there was no descision or choice to make in the first place. So "no" doesn't matter. The only thing left, is "go" .
I guess I'm a little of this and that...a little patriotic, a little romantic, a little more dramatic and of course, a lot religious. You could say I'm an open-minded conservative, who values morality, respect and understanding, and of course, loyalty.
